myself very closely. There was a time when I couldn’t even see myself, but I think I can now. I have fears about the future, but more about the past I leave behind. I am no where near as directionless as I once was, but I find myself coming to the beginning of each path and only taking a few steps before getting cold feet and scrambling back to the safety of whatever place I am calling home.
I feel that many things are still out of my reach.
And the biggest problem I have
is that I continue to perceive
money as the answer
to all of life’s
But honestly, it’s about more than that.
I find it difficult for people to take me seriously.
I’m still seeking that validation from somewhere out there.
And I feel such a wretched sense of empty entitlement…
I feel entitled…but to nothing in particular.
I feel cheated…but of nothing in particular.
I would rather feel like I’ve worked hard for something.
And I know, I know, I am quite sure that things will turn around.
But there’s that fear…
That they won’t
and that I’ll just let the time pass me by.
So I have to promise myself at every moment to never let that happen.
To never stop going after what I want or whatever I think I need.
“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.”—Jim Morrison (via myquotelibrary)